Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Silver Lining

I've always admired people who can manage to make the most of a terrible situation. And it wasn't until recently that I really understood what people meant by finding a silver lining in the clouds.

The clouds in my life had been looming for months, and the weatherman was predicting this storm, but I still had hoped and prayed that it would pass without ever raining down. But a few weeks ago the storm hit and who knows when it will let up or pass over. As painful and as devastating as the "storm" is on me and my family, it has also brought with it some great blessings.

I always admired the song "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns but I never understood how people could honestly praise their God when their heart was breaking. It sounds admirable but I doubted that my faith could ever reach such a point.

Yet, somehow, here I am. Amidst the storms, drenched in rain, thankful to my Lord. The lyrics of the song go:

I was sure by now, God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.

But once again, I say amen, and it's still raining, as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain, "I am with you" and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands for You are who You are, no matter where I am, and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.

So what you ask is this silver lining, that gives me faith and strength through this storm? It is the blessing of friends and family. In the past few weeks the amount of outpouring from my family, friends and even old friends and acquaintances has been amazing. I always knew I was blessed, but it wasn't until this that I realized how much my family is loved. Our extended family has really shown us unconditional love through both their words and their actions. And my family has become closer than ever. It is these wonderful people that make me realize that there is more to God's plans then what we are going through right now. I know that he may not answer our prayers exactly when or how we want him to, but he will give us the strength and support we need to get through this time, and answer our prayers in His time.

I look back now and see how much I stressed last year (to the point that I gave myself stomach problems) over applying to residency and "match," and I realize all of that was for nothing. I am so happy where we ended up, and honestly God's plan was better than I could have ever hoped for. So I try not to worry about this storm, and I will trust in God knowing that His plan is greater than anything I could ever imagine or understand.

To my family, you guys are awesome, I don't know how I got so lucky And to the rest of you thank you, your support means more than you will ever know.

5 comments:

  1. Love this post, Maris! I completely hear where you are coming from. I had never felt a closer relationship to God as I did when we were going through infertility. While I would NEVER wish that upon anyone, I also wouldn't trade the experience for the world. I'm glad you are already seeing the "value" in going through life's awful experiences. We all love you!

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  2. Wow, great post. And I am so sorry you're going through the storm. You've been on my mind lately... This song REALLY spoke to me when I first heard it a few years ago, accidentally (I didn't listen to Christian radio at the time). It became the theme song of my life through several showers and storms. It's hard to praise during the storm, honestly, but once we get to the other side we know that every pain has a purpose. I held onto that during our latest storm, which was losing our home and nearly everything in it to a house fire last year. I know you will get through it, and you will be stronger. In the meantime, it's okay to cry in the rain. ((hugs and prayers))

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  3. Thank you for this -- I feel I must be the shadow of your last year now...going through the entire process now. With Jake gone on several away rotations...interviews starting next month....and less than 6 months till 4th year D-day...all will come along and come about. Stress won't hurry or lessen the verdict. I have found myself wishing this year away...horrible thought with the numbered days we have...

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  4. I am thinking of you Marissa.. what a wonderful way to put everything into perspective. Sometimes we think things are REALLY bad, but then we forget that things can always be worse and if we just trust in the bigger plan - things are going to be okay!!
    *Hugs* to you!

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  5. I understand what you mean about this song. I love it, it helps me often when I am feeling overwhelmed by life. Hugs to you.

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