On the Eve of PGY2...

Yes, I've been gone; Missing In Action. 

(Here is my attempt to fill in the gaps for the past several months.)

March was hard.  

Very hard.  Probably even harder than last March (when I made myself crazy worrying about match).  If you remember my family and I were enduring a storm, and March was a turning point for us, we were waiting for the forecast. We would either be enduring months of more rain or we would finally get some relief in the form of a rainbow.  So in March, I was consumed with the turn of events and simply put, I was an absolute mess.  

But turns out we got our rainbow.  God faithfully answered our prayers. The sun is now shining on my family, and while we are still expecting a few lingering showers, we have made it out of that storm, stronger and closer than ever.  

And to be honest, April was still a little tough because even though I had gotten my wish, our prayers had been answered, I still felt bruised and broken.  I didn't understand why I was still hurt, I had expected the pain to all vanish as quickly as it had appeared.  I really struggled with being unable to bounce back to my prior self.  But with time, the pain and anger has faded, and I finally feel like a normal human being again.

But I have since struggled with how to get back to blogging.  Its hard to return to something when you have gotten out of the habit.  

When I was going through the storm with my family, it was not something I could share publicly.  It was also something in which I felt like I was constantly going out of my mind.  The turn of events were so unreal, I had trouble even putting them in writing for myself.  I just couldn't wrap my head around it all.  

But as we are wrapping up intern year, and I see the difficulties and challenges of PGY2* on the horizon, I realize I need to get back in the habit of blogging.  Writing has been my therapy the past several years (until recently of course).  And I lost that outlet.  

I know the next few months are going to be a difficult transition, as Mr. Dawkter takes on longer hours and greater responsibilities as a second year resident. I know I need to return to blogging as it is so therapeutic to share my frustrations, fears and laughs as we continue our journey through medical training.  Not to mention I will have a lot more time on my hands, and Mr. D will be spending the majority of his time at the hospital!

So while I've had a major leave of absence, hopefully I am back for good now.  

*PGY2 - stands for Post Graduate Year 2 (second year of residency or second year out of medical school)